I have honestly tried to write this piece now, one too many times. This practice has had such a profound impact in every area of my life that words do not seem to suffice or articulate the impact in such brevity… I will try though.
...and maybe, right there, is the essence of it all; the lesson in meeting ourselves with humbled honesty of how deeply impacted we are in this human bodily experience. Trying, in each and every moment, to meet ourselves lovingly so that we may articulate and express the truth of who we are...
-but just maybe?
Yoga is my entire life. It has inspired every pivotal movement I have made throughout the most shapely years of my 20s. I came to the practice in 2010(ish) as a way to manage physical imbalances from the demands of my party party lifestyle within the service industry. In that first class though, I discovered SO much more.
Yes, my body was met with kindness and ease that I loved, that offered relief from tension and balanced the pain, BUT what I found to be most intriguing and rewarding was a language that finally described the inner dialogue of my heart and soul. I felt at peace in my mind for the first time ever. As a woman in her early 20s with no “direction” other than the taboo way of “following her heart”, this practice spoke to a part of me that had never been met by the outside world, a part of me that I hid for fear of being different and unaccepted as who I was [AM].
Longing to know more after that first class, I signed up for a 200 hour teacher training with little intention of actually becoming a teacher--although I did LOVE the idea of working creatively for myself and getting away with wearing sweats as a uniform. My true intention was to learn about myself and discover a sense of purpose or meaning within my life; there had to be more to all of “this” that I was not being told. To my delight, I felt like I had finally found my place in the world. The idea of becoming a teacher and serving others through what I was learning on an experiential level, pushed my edges SO FAR beyond what I thought I was capable of, that I knew this practice and that challenge, was everything that would create a life of passion I so wished to live.
My devotion to this intention has remained steady ever since and has taken me on a VERY up, down, windy, HARD road. But 10 years later, I say with confidence that it has been and will always be the most rewarding devotion and commitment I make. I have found an unwavering acceptance and an internal peace that I recognize as my greatest gift. Connecting to my physical body day in and day out proves to me that everything good comes from stepping wholeheartedly outside of my comfort zone, that there is an innate strength in my vulnerability. And maybe most importantly, I see that in being “different”, I in fact lead the pack. My authentic embodiment inspires and encourages more truth in expression from everyone I meet and together we all feel a little safer and more supported while being here.
Do these words suffice? No, I don't feel they do. I could go on and in and through, but instead I accept that there is no end to this practice of discovering, or rather what I believe to be, our practice in remembering who we are at our core. Yoga has most definitely taught me that as soon as I think I have met my capacity to experience myself here and now, something inevitably shifts and I am invited deeper into my practice of humbled expression. It is such a wild and beautiful experience that I am forever grateful to be a part of--and my bonus is--the pleasure and honor I have in sharing it with you.